SCARIEST DAY OF MY LIFE
BIRTH CIRCLE | CINCINNATI DOULA + BIRTH PHOTOGRAPHER
My second time around was a successful vbac, so I was hoping my third would be the same. I did all kinds of things to prep like learning more about hypnobirth to drinking different teas I read help aid labor. At 38 weeks, I had a rough day. I couldn’t feel the baby move. All day, I kept telling myself to slow down and try and get my kick counts in. My older two were being pills though. Finally, around 7:30, I decided to put my kids to bed early and try and lay down and get those kick counts in. I couldn’t get any kicks at all. I proceeded to eat half a pan of rice crispy treats and drink ice water in intervals trying to get baby to move. I started feeling sick to my stomach, and not from the sugar. I called my parents who live close by, and had my dad stay with the kids and my mom took me to the hospital. My husband was out of town. They put me on the monitor over night. Baby was still living, but not moving enough. The next morning, they did an ultrasound and baby got a score of 2/8 (based on amount of moves, placenta health, heart rate, and more). The doctor came in and said he was very concerned and we’d be having a cesarean in a few minutes. My mom had left me, so I was all alone. I don’t think I had cried that hard and felt so so alone in my life. They prepped me, and luckily my mom made it back right before they started. There was so much quiet, I just kept asking if he was okay. No one really explained to me what was going on. They finally told me they were taking baby to the NICU. I didn’t even get to see him. After I got all stitched up and put in recovery, I started to feel sick and throw up for hours. They wouldn’t let me go visit my baby until I stopped throwing up, so I couldn’t visit him until late that night. It was so hard seeing him hooked up to oxygen and all types of wires and with an IV. More than 24 hours after his birth we got to try skin to skin. I pumped and pumped and finally got to try our first latch after 48 hours. He progressed and improved after all of our skin to skin sessions. He was so strong! A few months after his birth, my mom finally felt the need to tell me that he had passed away right after they removed him from my belly, and had to be recessitated and that’s why everything was so quiet and no one would tell me what was going on. I feel so lucky that he is here and made it through. Bubs is 6 months and my best eater! He’s nice and chubby and you would never know what he went through.